Had a blood draw Monday afternoon and the nurse said the numbers weren't bad. Whew. The white-blood count was good but others were a bit low -- though not too low.
So a week after the chemo was removed its still having an effect on my body. I guess that's good. I have no problem with the chemicals, the radiation, whatever, kicking some cancer butt.
My endoscopy and PET scan both have been moved up a few days, the scope to Friday, Dec. 7, and the PET to the following Monday, Dec. 10. This so Dr. Boyer, Dr. Z, Dr. Diamond and their cast of thousands can review the results on Dec. 12. Surgery should follow within days, methinks, though no firm date has yet been established. Personally, the sooner the better as far as I'm concerned. I can't wait to get it over with.
In unrelated news, my Mom will be up in Orlando on Dec. 1, just in time for Jenny's wedding on the 2nd. Jen is quite psyched up and ready to rock, as is her finace, Chris. Mom is thrilled she'll be able to attend, though she won't be able to participate (earlier I dangled the carrot that I'd gladly stand aside and let her escort Jen down the aisle is she were to be better in time). She's fine sitting in a wheelchair and enjoying the nuptials. I, too, am happy to be able to attend the wedding, though my bald head might glare out the photo equipment.
In all, it will be a busy few weeks ahead, but rewarding in many ways.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Enjoying the freedom
It's been five days since the chemo pump was removed and I gotta say I'm really enjoying the freedom. Freedoms we normally take for granted, like tucking in shirts, like simple and quick showers, like numb-free extremities.
I'm still sleeping through most of the day, but when I wake up I'm also feeling a smidgen more energy.
Still, the anxiety about the surgery reminds me daily I'm not in the clear. And I'm still awake daily about 3-4 a.m. due to the stomach tube in me. Seems my body still tries to digest it, and the clamp I have keeping it from being sucked through my digestive system hurts as it's pulled tightly to my outer abdomen.
It's a bit bizarre that I'm feeling more nauseous now than, say, four weeks ago. After all, the chemo is gone. I can't figure that one out.
But another way to look at it is by this time in February, this will all be in the past. I will have gone through and survived the surgery after having a PET scan that affirms the cancer has not spread and an endoscopy that finds a smaller tumor. The pain of the surgery will be gone and I'll be settled back in at my desk in the Sentinel newsroom. That is my preferred way to look at things. In the future. A future that includes me.
I'm still sleeping through most of the day, but when I wake up I'm also feeling a smidgen more energy.
Still, the anxiety about the surgery reminds me daily I'm not in the clear. And I'm still awake daily about 3-4 a.m. due to the stomach tube in me. Seems my body still tries to digest it, and the clamp I have keeping it from being sucked through my digestive system hurts as it's pulled tightly to my outer abdomen.
It's a bit bizarre that I'm feeling more nauseous now than, say, four weeks ago. After all, the chemo is gone. I can't figure that one out.
But another way to look at it is by this time in February, this will all be in the past. I will have gone through and survived the surgery after having a PET scan that affirms the cancer has not spread and an endoscopy that finds a smaller tumor. The pain of the surgery will be gone and I'll be settled back in at my desk in the Sentinel newsroom. That is my preferred way to look at things. In the future. A future that includes me.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
A lot to be thankful for
For a while today I was thinking about that statement above. But it's true.
Besides my wonderful family and friends, there is a lot for which I am thankful.
I have my health (I'll address this in a sec.) after all.
But mostly I have my wife and kids and family and friends. Catherine is and has been amazing through nearly 28 years of dealing with me. My daughters, including one due to wed in less than two weeks, are amazing and a constant source of joy -- and negative cash flow. Their boyfriends (in other words, their ability to make wise choices) are great and always welcome at home. One of our two elder kids from Catherine's mistaken marriage, has been nothing but a joy; the other, well that's another story for another time.
My Mom has been a blessing throughout my life and her returning health is another source of thanks in this year.
Now, back to my health. One could look at the past few months and ask if I'm crazy for being thankful that my health is as it is. After all, I have a life-threatening disease that has made me ill for the past seven weeks, preceded by a minor surgery and which will be followed by a hazardous surgery. Then there's no guarantee that my health will be restored.
But the way I see it, I'm thankful that going into this ordeal I was restoring my health. I was losing weight intentionally (I'm down two pant sizes, though I'd much rather it was via a more natural weight-loss plan), my blood pressure had been down, I don't really have any other major medical issues. So my health as it is will help carry me through my cancer and help me survive the cancer.
How can I be more thankful, then, for my health as it is? My health will help keep me alive. In a very real sense. Others like to be "healthy" but my health will help save me.
Thankfully.
So on this day of thanks for all that we have, look at yourself, at your family and friends, even to those you don't like so much, and be thankful for all of them, for everything. One doesn't often get the chance to be so introspective, but that's a mistake. Everything we are, everyone we are with is a source of thanks.
So enjoy dinner with friends, family, colleagues and thank them all for being a part of your life.
You'll thank yourself someday.
Besides my wonderful family and friends, there is a lot for which I am thankful.
I have my health (I'll address this in a sec.) after all.
But mostly I have my wife and kids and family and friends. Catherine is and has been amazing through nearly 28 years of dealing with me. My daughters, including one due to wed in less than two weeks, are amazing and a constant source of joy -- and negative cash flow. Their boyfriends (in other words, their ability to make wise choices) are great and always welcome at home. One of our two elder kids from Catherine's mistaken marriage, has been nothing but a joy; the other, well that's another story for another time.
My Mom has been a blessing throughout my life and her returning health is another source of thanks in this year.
Now, back to my health. One could look at the past few months and ask if I'm crazy for being thankful that my health is as it is. After all, I have a life-threatening disease that has made me ill for the past seven weeks, preceded by a minor surgery and which will be followed by a hazardous surgery. Then there's no guarantee that my health will be restored.
But the way I see it, I'm thankful that going into this ordeal I was restoring my health. I was losing weight intentionally (I'm down two pant sizes, though I'd much rather it was via a more natural weight-loss plan), my blood pressure had been down, I don't really have any other major medical issues. So my health as it is will help carry me through my cancer and help me survive the cancer.
How can I be more thankful, then, for my health as it is? My health will help keep me alive. In a very real sense. Others like to be "healthy" but my health will help save me.
Thankfully.
So on this day of thanks for all that we have, look at yourself, at your family and friends, even to those you don't like so much, and be thankful for all of them, for everything. One doesn't often get the chance to be so introspective, but that's a mistake. Everything we are, everyone we are with is a source of thanks.
So enjoy dinner with friends, family, colleagues and thank them all for being a part of your life.
You'll thank yourself someday.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
5,001 and counting
It took seven weeks or so, but this blog just broke 5,000 page impressions.
I'm impressed with the concern everyone has shown for my condition and the wonderful comments many of you have left for me. I appreciate every one.
I created the blog to as a warning and reminder that heartburn can lead to cancer. Hard as it seems to believe, it's a fact. I am living proof of this.
So much so, that my warning has led at least three readers of this blog, including a relative, to see a doctor for endoscopy or consultation. I'm glad, since that was the goal. I hope more of you -- especially those suffering with heartburn -- get checked out for this disease or some of its precursors.
And if you ever, ever, ever have a difficult time swallowing food or drink, run -- don't walk -- to the doctor, as this could mean you are in an advanced stage of esophageal cancer, as was I when I saw the doctor in September. Run. Don't walk!
Meantime, keep reading and I'll keep writing as I travel the journey to being a cancer survivor.
I'm impressed with the concern everyone has shown for my condition and the wonderful comments many of you have left for me. I appreciate every one.
I created the blog to as a warning and reminder that heartburn can lead to cancer. Hard as it seems to believe, it's a fact. I am living proof of this.
So much so, that my warning has led at least three readers of this blog, including a relative, to see a doctor for endoscopy or consultation. I'm glad, since that was the goal. I hope more of you -- especially those suffering with heartburn -- get checked out for this disease or some of its precursors.
And if you ever, ever, ever have a difficult time swallowing food or drink, run -- don't walk -- to the doctor, as this could mean you are in an advanced stage of esophageal cancer, as was I when I saw the doctor in September. Run. Don't walk!
Meantime, keep reading and I'll keep writing as I travel the journey to being a cancer survivor.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
To friends, with love
Once again, my friends at work have left me speechless.
My friend and colleague Sharon McBreen stopped by today with a bag of goodies from my friends at work. Among them, chocolates, herbal tea, a game book, a book of thoughtful prayers, a digital card game, salves, lotions, swabs and a scrapbook filled with warmth, humor, cards, wishes, quips, jokes and lots of love.
I don't know quite what to say, except thank you all for the kindness.
Sharon said Katherine Norris coordinated this undertaking, and I must say she did a heckuva job. It's wonderful and it truly made my day. I feel stronger, honestly, because of the contents of the bag, the box and the scrapbook.
Sharon shot a photo of Catherine and myself holding the scrapbook, which appears at the top of this entry. The title really says it all, or so one would think. Until you open the book, and turn the pages from some who are quite expert at scrapbooking to others who admit they're not so adept. Still, every page is a treasure -- and a pleasure -- to explore. The cards inside were great, filled with humor and warmth, and the personal notes from so many people were a joy to read.
So, to all I'd just like to offer my thanks and let you know I'm really trying hard to get well. I'll continue to keep you posted and my phone is always open. If I don't answer it's either because I can't or somehow missed the call. But I'll try to get back as soon as possible.
Thanks! And remember, I'll be back.
Monday, November 19, 2007
I'm free, I'm free...
Yes, I know, more lyrics. Courtesy of The Who's Tommy.
"I'm free, I'm free,
"And freedom tastes of reality ..."
I say I'm free because my tethered chemo pump is no more.
It feels good to be about a pound or two lighter and no longer have that tube plugged into my chest.
While at the doc's office, they pulled more blood and my numbers are improving; my white count actually was in the normal range, though others were in the low zone. But by next week I'm anticipating good things. I hope I can put on weight (I'm down to 193) and get healthy going into the surgery in about three weeks, give or take a few days.
That's the goal of this "cooling off" period -- getting healthy after six weeks of self-inflicted poisons being added to my body.
Didn't get to see Dr. Z today, but I guess that's a good thing in that it means he didn't need to see me about anything bad. I must say I enjoyed our weekly visits; he's really a good guy and a very caring doctor. I miss our barbs about the benefits of either the Intel-based PCs or the now-Intel-based Macs.
But I'm glad the lack of a conversation means I'm healing.
"I'm free."
"I'm free, I'm free,
"And freedom tastes of reality ..."
I say I'm free because my tethered chemo pump is no more.
It feels good to be about a pound or two lighter and no longer have that tube plugged into my chest.
While at the doc's office, they pulled more blood and my numbers are improving; my white count actually was in the normal range, though others were in the low zone. But by next week I'm anticipating good things. I hope I can put on weight (I'm down to 193) and get healthy going into the surgery in about three weeks, give or take a few days.
That's the goal of this "cooling off" period -- getting healthy after six weeks of self-inflicted poisons being added to my body.
Didn't get to see Dr. Z today, but I guess that's a good thing in that it means he didn't need to see me about anything bad. I must say I enjoyed our weekly visits; he's really a good guy and a very caring doctor. I miss our barbs about the benefits of either the Intel-based PCs or the now-Intel-based Macs.
But I'm glad the lack of a conversation means I'm healing.
"I'm free."
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