It's been five days since the chemo pump was removed and I gotta say I'm really enjoying the freedom. Freedoms we normally take for granted, like tucking in shirts, like simple and quick showers, like numb-free extremities.
I'm still sleeping through most of the day, but when I wake up I'm also feeling a smidgen more energy.
Still, the anxiety about the surgery reminds me daily I'm not in the clear. And I'm still awake daily about 3-4 a.m. due to the stomach tube in me. Seems my body still tries to digest it, and the clamp I have keeping it from being sucked through my digestive system hurts as it's pulled tightly to my outer abdomen.
It's a bit bizarre that I'm feeling more nauseous now than, say, four weeks ago. After all, the chemo is gone. I can't figure that one out.
But another way to look at it is by this time in February, this will all be in the past. I will have gone through and survived the surgery after having a PET scan that affirms the cancer has not spread and an endoscopy that finds a smaller tumor. The pain of the surgery will be gone and I'll be settled back in at my desk in the Sentinel newsroom. That is my preferred way to look at things. In the future. A future that includes me.
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3 comments:
Just checking in on you. Get plenty of rest to prepare yourself for your surgery, because we prefer a future that includes you, too!!!
Joanna
You're up at 3 a.m.? Call my desk, I might still be at work.
But seriously. You're an inspiration. More than that, you are a real friend. We need you back here. February can't come soon enough for us.
- dc
Thanks David,
Likewise. I appreciate the sentiment and believe me when I say February is way too far away for my liking. I will be there soon as the docs clear me, and I hope it is sooner than the six weeks of recovery they say I'll need.
kk
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